Kissing Lessons

Kissing is one of the most sensuous, erotic and thrilling things couples can do together. It can be done just about anywhere. So, what’s to keep you from being a great kisser?

Many men and women complain that their lover doesn’t know how to kiss very well, and that their kissing actually turns them off. How do you kiss? How does your lover do it? Has your technique gotten a bit stale and is there something you can learn about kissing?

Our mouths, lips and tongues are alive with nerve endings. Voluptuous lips are one of the sexual stimuli that turn on both men and women. We wouldn’t love eating nearly as much if we didn’t like the texture of things in our mouths. Kissing has an erotic power over us and the better you are at it the more you’ll get kissed. The pleasure you can deliver and derive from kissing can be expanded to take on an importance of its own. Take a step back to ‘innocent mind’ and start over to find the thrill in it again.

Lesson One: Wet your lips generously, right now. Use your tongue and moisten them well. Put your lips together in an exaggerated pout. As you pout, rub the insides around on each other and feel the silkiness of your own inner lips. Imagine kissing that part of your mouth. Now, again exaggerating the pout, part your lips slightly so you can just suck a little air in through the opening. That is how your lips should feel when you are about to kiss someone: moist, juicy, voluptuous, open, and inviting.

Lesson Two: Kiss the back of your own hand as practice. You should leave a wet mark and make a small, seductive smack as you finish it. Slight suction can be felt when a full set of lips meets the skin. Attitude plays a big part in kissing, too. Are you being seductive and coy or lustful and aggressive? Practice different attitudes while sucking and kissing various exotic fruits, such as a mango, a peach or nectarine, or maybe papaya. Peel the skin away and practice different styles of kissing while you’re eating it. Nobody is going to see you, so go for it!

Lesson Three: Try recreating your first kissing experiences, as mentioned above. Tell your partner that you want to practice with them. Pretend you know nothing. Ask for pointers. You want to be a great kisser! Surrender some of the time. Be aggressive at other times. Dance back and forth with soft, slightly open, moist full lips.

Lesson Four: Don’t introduce your tongue until after you’ve been kissing for a while. Wait until you and your lover yearn for it. When you do start tongue play, do be playful. Tickle and tease. Run the tip of your tongue around the inside of your lover’s lips. Give them a little tongue, then pull back and nibble at one lip. Run a finger erotically across their inner lips and then leave it in the corner of their mouth while kissing them. This gives a sense of urgency to the deeper kisses and adds extra sensuousness to the act.

Lesson Five: In Tantric practice the lower lip on the man provides a direct channel to his sexual organ’s excitement, so gently suck and kiss his lower lip. For women, the upper lip connects energetically to the clitoris so as the woman sucks the man’s lower lip he can gentle suck her upper lip. Nibbling and soft biting are kissing techniques from the Kama Sutra and definitely apply too!

Lessons Six Through 1001 (as in the Arabian Nights Tales): Sensuously introduce warm chocolate, juice, or a liqueur into your lover’s mouth before kissing. Share it back and forth. Lick the drips off of their lips in the most luscious way you can. Use your soft lips to kiss your lover’s body all over. Ears are highly erogenous, so kiss, lick, nibble, suck and bite an ear lobe and breathe softly into the ear. You can create even more sensual pleasure if you slip down and kiss and bite their neck. Get creative and have fun!

If YOU have any great tips on kissing please, let us hear them!

Why Does Surprising Your Partner Trigger So Much Excitement and Pleasure?

Novelty increases the amount of dopamine, a neurotransmitter, available to the blood stream and brain. Dopamine is associated with the parts of the brain that involve pleasure and rewards. When we meet a new person and fall in love serotonin levels are suppressed and Dopamine levels are increased. Love is new. It’s exciting. It’s intense and it propels the lovers to do things to win their new, potential lover/partner. It’s a feedback system.

This same feedback system can be employed to re-create intensity in a longer-term partnership. It can be used consciously to up the ante. But, caution is required too because the unconscious drive to keep upping the ante can cause problems. Dopamine is kind of addictive (think Cocaine). There is the possibility that trying to hold on to the intensity will drive one or both of the couple to seek adventures that are outside the boundaries of the other.

We’re an intensity driven society. This may be why we are seeing an increase in things like threesomes, cheating, swinging, polyamory, BDSM and other behaviors. The desire for creating new, hot, and deeper connections may also lead the other direction to the recent interest in Tantric sex and the arts of the Kama Sutra.

Exciting new behaviors, practices, positions and other creative bedroom endeavors take very little thought and can add a lot to a long-term relationship. Some of the things you can try are making love in some place other than the bedroom, changing your bedroom to seem like another place, using blindfolds, restraints and pleasure-inducing items (think velvet, makeup brushes, silk, satin, rose petals, feathers) to treat your erotic skin with new sensations. Dress-up in something you usually wouldn’t, undress your partner to a slow, sexy favorite piece of music, learn a new sexual trick and try it out, wear a wig or high heals or both, have sex with your sexy underwear on, play with each other, under your napkins, during a dinner at a sexy restaurant or do a strip-tease for your lover. Get wild.

Or…sign-up for the Tantra.com Premium Member’s area and create a lifetime of pleasure, enlightenment, hot sex, subtle nuances and far deeper intimacy. It’ll fuel your craving for novelty and will increase your dopamine levels in the ‘good’ sense of addiction!

Blessings,
Suzie Heumann

Kama Sutra – The Tsetse Fly

It’s been discovered that if you can stop the genial rubbing of the female tsetse fly then you can slow down the reproduction rate. Duh. (This is important because the tsetse fly carries sleeping sickness in African nations.)

Science Daily reports that: “By snipping off parts of male genitalia and reducing genital sensation in both male and female tsetse flies, researchers induced a suite of changes in female reproduction, including reduced ovulation and reduced sperm storage.

This is wonderful news, though I don’t know how scientists will stop the genital rubbing. How are they going to go around snipping off parts of the male’s genitals?

"The tsetse fly Kama Sutra is long and elaborate," said Eberhard, who described the 30-minute ritual during which the male rubs the underside of the female's abdomen with his hind legs, sings to her by buzzing his wings, rubs her eyes with his front legs, and so on. This sounds great – 30 minute foreplay!

William Eberhard is a staff scientist at the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute and professor of biology at the University of Costa Rica. "We were surprised by the number of female processes that were influenced by modifying the stimuli received by the female from the male's genitalia," said Eberhard.

Science just doesn’t get women yet. There is a lot of catching up to do! But I object to the name ‘Kama Sutra’. It’s an inappropriate use of the name, don’t you think? Geesh. What’s the world coming to.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/05/090514130636.htm

The Antidote To Hard Times - Love Lessons

Mark Morford in his column at SFgate.com spoke wise words that got a bit of flack from many commentators on Wednesday (3.11.09). Roughly 25 to 30 percent of comments and votes thought he was spouting ‘drivel’ when he suggested making love a lot more in a down economy. Why, because it’s, well, you check: Have Sex for Free!

Curious numbers those 25-30 percent against this idea. These are certainly not the ‘Cultural Creatives’ (Thank you Paul Ray) who aspire, I’m sure, to more ‘Make Love, Not War’ kinds of slogans. Cultural Creatives are supposedly about 25-30% of the population. They like things like organic, ecology, right-livelihood, yoga – you get the picture and I’m sure they would be true believers in having a lot more free sex in down times, or in any times for that matter.

Near the end of his offering Morford states: “Is this all there is to it?” and then: “…God - can something truly innovative and revolutionary be born. You think? I can't be quite sure. Someone get me some porn and drugs.” Ah, rather than porn, what if the revolution brought us to love, compassion, helpfulness, more love, sex, more sex, expanded consciousness, innovative living and cheaper dates?

Cultural Creatives certainly must be proponents of Western Tantric Sex. That kind of sex might just get you out of your negative thinking and into the present. It might actually make you healthier, wiser and more resilient. What if we might have to play our own music while engaging in a love position from the Tantric or Kama Sutra manuals while eating organic delicacies from our own garden and smoking homegrown from our hookah?

And, for that matter, what if we actually had time to pay attention to our children and take joy in helping them learn and (shriek) play with them outside in the dirt of the garden. What a concept that would be – to actually spend time with and get to know your family.

Back to Tantric Sex - It’s got all the right components for these times. It produces oxytocin (bonding), pheromone transmission (luv drugs!), dopamine (cheap highs), balance (lots of different good chemicals), inner knowing, harmonious relating (stress-busting neurochemicals), newness in love relationships (avoids stress of divorce, cheating and adds a lot more playful fun) and basically, it’s FREE. Consciousness PLUS love is what’s called for and needed in our coming future.

PS: If you want to learn much more about it, it will actually cost you a little something over at Tantra.com’s Premium Member’s Area but there’s a whole bunch of stuff FREE over here/there too.

You Tube videos - 10 New Videos

From the extensive video collection on Tantra.com we've put up 10 short videos on YouTube.com under the guru name: Enlightened Sex.

Each of the short videos, which run from 1 to 3 minutes long, has me, Suzie, speaking about a practice or lesson taken from Tantric theory, the Kama Sutra, Taoism and modern sexuality information. They're pretty good and very informative. Go check them out. And please make comments and do some rating.

We'll have more in the future. go ahead and spread these around for now to friends and family if it's appropriate. Thanks!

Go to: EnlightenedSex
or Suzie Heumann

Enjoy!

Key to Kama Sutra Position Angles


Key to Your Clitoris' Pleasure

India Journal - I'm Having a Hard Time With...

It is very difficult for me to see how a Hindu in India could have ever, at one time, understood, embraced and practiced the Kama Sutra let alone the Tantric Arts. It is as though sexuality, regardless of any sacred aspect, is something so course here that it has been reduced to staring at women’s breasts, teasing and intimidating and generally playing for the fool any woman who might happen to simply walk by. It’s very hard to handle.
I have my tall, gorgeous, twenty-three year old daughter with me as I’m traveling through India. She is an intrepid traveler, going places on her own I could only dream of being brave enough to go to but she is often brought to her edge by Indian men. And women. The men won’t let her be. There is always some man, young or old, who is outright staring at her, bumping her or harassing her. It’s sad and alarming. It makes travel here uncomfortable a lot of the time. I even get some of it myself, at my age. It has put us in deep wonder about women’s lives here.
Women in the villages and small towns, which is most women, won’t come out of their dark, smoky, hidden little kitchens if the men are around. They won’t look at you, acknowledge you or stick around if we two women come near. If the men are gone to the fields or away sitting talking with other men, which is what they all seem to be doing all of the time in the cities, all breaks open with the women. They come out – really OUT. It’s like night and day.
So many times while traveling we have had this same thing happen. The women are chatty, curious and aggressive – to the point of being scary sometimes – but only if their men are far away. We have been pinched, poked, prodded and cajoled. We have been asked to give up our clothing, jewelry, scarves, pens and anything else that appealed and looked like something they could tell a good story about later. Luckily, we all have laughed together a lot, too, during these encounters. You have to be able to laugh – a lot – at yourself and at the situation. It is the best policy by far.
But what does this mean for their intimate lives? And how, as women, do we understand and accept the fact that in EVERY family, whether villagers or city folk, there is NEVER more than one girl among the children? There are always three to four or more boys of varying ages but never more than one girl. She is often the oldest or second to oldest, too.
What this tells us is that Indian women, whether Hindu or Muslim, must decide how to let their girls go. They get to keep one, only one. Older is better as she’ll be of valuable help to the mother, but after SHE is born there must be now only boys. Can you even imagine what that must feel like? I can’t even fathom it. I’m the mother of three girls and no boys. When I say that, which I do often, I get a sad, poor me kind of face from everyone. I am defective they think. How is this possible, they are wondering.
Imagine killing your daughters. You get just one, remember. Do you give that first one you don’t get to keep to your powerful mother-in-law, who had to do the same with her ‘extra’ girls? Do you be brave and leave her outside, under a bush, away from your home a bit, so you won’t think about it? How can you not think about it? Ever. What about the next and the next? How many times does an Indian woman have to do this in her life? She has to live through nine months of a pregnancy then, not knowing if it is a girl or that wanted boy, go through birth just to have a fifty-percent chance of starting all over again, very soon, to try again for that boy. If there are an average of four boys in a family and one girl then she might have had to do it maybe four or five times in her life. Just don’t attend the new baby girl - leave her, nature will do the rest. Does that make the one girl that does get to survive thankful – is she burdened at a very young age with that thought?
It is all too much for me sometimes. I can’t fathom it. It is because of money – the dowry. It is a burden on families to have to come up with a big pay-off for the girl to get married. Sometimes, even after that, the family is haunted by their new in-laws and their daughter’s husband to give more – the first wasn’t enough. It can drive women to suicide or worst, murder on the part of the husband or his family.
I know that balance is within me. I know that everything is perfect, just the way it is. The Universe is perfect. And yet, I can’t balance this. It doesn’t compute. Sorry for my rants. I know it isn’t very ‘sexy’ but it is THE WAY in the land of the Kama Sutra. I am wondering about sex now. What is that like for Indian men and women?
Love,
Suzie

Tantra

Tantra is a way of being in and of the world. In the Tantric view all life and every aspect of creation including sexuality is celebrated and held as sacred. Loosely, Tantra means to 'weave', to weave the world together. The supreme goal of Tantric philosophy is to come to the realization and understanding that everything is everything. That there isn't any dualistic aspect to life. That we are all 'one', The One - you, me, rocks, dogs, trees, children, water, spirit, air, cancer, love, sex, men, women, emotions - you name it, it's all One.

That's what is happening right now in our modern world. We are beginning to see that we have affected and infected out planet, that same place that supports us IS us. Saddus, Tantricas and Shaman are all beginning to speak of the Hindu concept of Time - the 4 Yugas or periods of universal time. We are in the Kali Yuga, the last, bad time period before the earth, and its beings, come around to the Beginning time again.

Things are quickening. Many discoveries are being made and with the speculation about the advent of 2012 in the atmosphere one begins to wonder if the Hindus are on to something. Not to scare you but "We are the ones we've been waiting for!" is beginning to look pretty appropriate.

What to do about it? Open your eyes and look around you. What can you do to rock your world? What conscious transformations might occur if you went out of your way to help others more? What if you began to see your lover as a Goddess or God all of the time, not just when they are doing something you want them to do for you? What if you decided to donate more of your salary? Or volunteer at your local food bank? Or...practice consciously witnessing yourself more so that you might transform your speech patterns, or anger or the narrow way you need to be pleasured or... You get the picture.

Open yourself up and say "Yes" more to the things that might seem like a stretch to you. Expand yourself to receive more pleasure or give more time to your children or your lover or even at work. Try it and see if the Universe supports you. Watch and witness what happens and with that feedback shift and do it again so that you are honing the new skill set you want to have.

Your life is magical if you want it to be. We use a tiny amount of our brains and bodies and souls. You have much more capacity than you know. I'm not talking about adding stress to your life. I'm talking about finding ways to transform it. It's an on-going project that is your life. The Hindus say that the very most important thing you can do with your precious life is to find out what purpose you were put here for and DO IT! Give yourself away in a way that is satisfying to you. You will blossom and grow in exponential ways!