Book recommends for those interested in the latest Sex Science

A while back I read May Roach’s Bonk. She’s a journalist who writes about interesting subjects with odd twists and a great sense of dry humor. Bonk is her third book and is about, well, bonking. In one of the chapters she discusses going to Europe with her husband and getting into an imaging machine that takes images of their interiors as they ‘bonk’. Yes, how the lingam meets and greets the yoni! There are a myriad of possibilities!

I want to volunteer! It would be so interesting, and of great importance, to explore subtle angle shifts related to G-spot, clitoral, and anterior fornix orgasms. Just what does it take to actualize vaginal orgasms for women? As I have always said, it’s all about discovering the right angles of penetration for each of us. We’re all different so even small, subtle changes in angle can make big differences.

Here’s a great over-view of the female sexual hot spots by none other than the famous Desmond Morris: . It’s the last line that is the most telling: “It has been claimed that two out of every three women fail to reach regular orgasms from simple penetrative sex. As mentioned above, most of them find that only digital or oral stimulation of the clitoris can be guaranteed to bring them to climax. This must mean that, for them, the two 'hot spots' inside the vagina are not living up to their name. The reason for this, it seems, is monotony in sexual positioning. A group of 27 couples were asked to vary their sexual positions experimentally, employing postures that would allow greater stimulation of the two vaginal 'hot spots', and it was found that three-quarters of the females involved were then able to achieve regular vaginal orgasms.”

I don’t know the origins of this study but I would love to know. If you know please let me know.

Here’s another book that looks good though I have not read it yet myself. I intend to. Sharon Moalem’s How Sex Works: Why We Look, Smell, Taste, Feel, and Act the Way We Do.

And a very good book, especially for those of you who are inclined to be a bit more scientific minded is: The Science of Sex by Beverly Whipple (the first G-spot book was co-written by her), Carlos Beyer-Flores & Barry Komisaruk.


Summer is coming. Time to make your reading lists.
I’ll take more suggestions if you have any…

The Curious Association of The G-spot and The Upper Palate

I often teach that to find where the G-spot is, and how it might feel, you can simply put your thumb in your mouth and feel the rougher, ridged area just beyond your teeth, on the top part of your mouth. Beyond that ridged area is the upper palate and halfway between the upper palate and the ridges is the area that is analogous to the G-spot. There is actually a slightly raised area that is even kidney bean shaped, as is often reported of the G-spot. I find it fascinating that the upper palate seems so close in structure to the vagina and G-spot area.

The upper palate area is filled with nerve endings. Try putting your little vibrator up there sometime and see how it feels! Obviously suckling and eating creates the evolutionary nerve aspects of the sensitivity of the mouth. The erotic feeling of sucking, whether it be some aspect of the anatomy like a nipple, penis or thumb, was developed during infancy to not only create a sensory experience while eating but to provide intimacy training for mother (or primary care giver) and child. The ‘bonding’ chemical oxytocin is produced during nursing and the accompanying eye gazing that occurs between mother and child trains the baby to seek the intimacy of faces, and specifically the eyes, as it grows older. Interestingly, oxytocin is also produced during orgasm.

The upper palate is also the area you place your tongue during advanced breath, energy and meditation work. The tip of the tongue points straight to the fontanel at the top of the head (the ‘soft’ spot) and opens up the nadis or energy channels. During Tantric sex certain positions have the ability to facilitate the movement of energy upwards, too. Positions that apply pressure from the head of the penis onto the G-spot area are particularly affective. Again, there seems to be the potential of a G-spot in the vagina and one in the mouth too.

I discovered this quite a few years back and have never heard anyone else refer to it before. I love oral sex and had wondered why that might be so. Yes, I love to eat, so that is a part of it, but I have noticed that during oral sex it's the slow out-stroke that always gets me. It's the same with intercourse. The long, slow out-stroke is the one that triggers orgasm for me. So what is it about these two very similar areas of the body? Why are they so similar in construction and what might that mean for our pleasure and our ability to build and expand erotic energy? I would love to have feedback from anyone who has experienced orgasm through mouth contact or who recognizes the connection of both G-spot orgasms and erotic stimuli in the mouth too.