3 Easy Steps to Recharging for Two with Tantra

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Witnessing Spring

I’m reminded of Witness Consciousness today. Spring is busting out all over the place and this makes it relatively easy to be hyper conscious of the beauty and life that is all around us. Forget stress, the economy and my messy house – it’s bursting out there!
It takes many varying practices to become more conscious. Right now I’m paying attention to nature in all of its glory. Last night I was paying attention to breath, sensual sensations and my G-spot. Later today I will even pay good attention to finishing my taxes. It’s all the same. Really.
How does one promote Witness Consciousness? There are many, many ways but I like to use the breath as a starting point. Watching my breath and breathing into my belly – softly, fully – is the practice I like. Years ago I started this practice and would remember it maybe 20 times a day. I would pay attention to how I was breathing. This got me used to remembering multiple times a day to pay attention.
That started my practice of witnessing myself. Then I moved this practice more deliberately to sex. After years of practicing and learning all about my body, my lover’s body and all the myriad ways we could pleasure each other I could finally let go of the ‘thinking’ about those moves and begin to ‘witness’ my self during sexual encounters. This isn’t about judgment or critical thinking or even imagination or fantasy – it’s about the gentle practice of witnessing. To witness one simply watches with ease and wonder what is happening to them.
When we get good at this it becomes really useful. So we’re having some great sex and I notice “ Oh, that is an interesting sensation. I’m going to breathe into that touch and see what happens.” It’s just like that, simple and useful. The ‘witness’ helps us to add on to the experience. When you get really good at this you can really explore and up-the-ante on your experiences, what ever they are. It’s a playful practice that becomes an increasingly interesting sort of arousal stimulator. And I’m using it today because of the beauty all around me – nature is arousing me and I’m using this experience to make it even more exquisite so I can enjoy the taxes and enjoy the garden and enjoy the sex and enjoy the life!

Do You Want to Be Connected or Connected?

Are we really willing to go without touch, kissing, pheromones, orgasms, tender whispers and all of the exquisite accompaniments to Love this easily?

A study released this week from Germany on 19-29 year olds being willing to let go of their partner instead of their Internet connection and their cell phones is astonishing, to say the least. Maybe it is a generational thing. After all I’m in my mid fifties and have really only had a cell phone for maybe a tenth of my life (I was a late hold-out for no cell phone!). Two of my daughters have had cell phones for at least half of their lives, however, and they are in their 20’s. And they have had access to computers for almost all of their lives. So to them the use of these technology tools is ubiquitous. Yet I don’t think they would agree with this survey.

I’m not going to analyze it. I can’t because it is not ‘me’. What I’m addicted to is the deep connection that comes from love and sex and the ‘drugs’ that it produces in me. As humans we become kind of ‘addicted’ to oxytocin, the bonding chemical, dopamine, the desire chemical, pheromones, the attraction chemicals and on and on. These potent chemical messengers are what draw us to connect with another person. They become active when we get physically close to another person, not through cell phone connections.

I have always imagined and longed for a time when many people adopt Tantric practices. I believe the sexual part of Tantra is necessary for the consciousness part to evolve into an equilibrium of conscious love, compassion and a personal understanding of the depth within each of us. But this requires being physically close to others, whether they are lovers or not. It is pretty scary to think that the next generations, in some places, don't have this framework by which to live their lives. Tantric practices are now needed more than ever.

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