Free TeleSeminar today 4/22/09 3pm PST

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I'll be talking about Tantra and Tantric practices in addition to some neurobiology and the reasons why these practices work to expand our experiences and our brain chemistry. I'll be taking live questions on the call so sign-up and let's talk!

Expanding Neural Networks Through Sex

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The Curious Association of The G-spot and The Upper Palate

I often teach that to find where the G-spot is, and how it might feel, you can simply put your thumb in your mouth and feel the rougher, ridged area just beyond your teeth, on the top part of your mouth. Beyond that ridged area is the upper palate and halfway between the upper palate and the ridges is the area that is analogous to the G-spot. There is actually a slightly raised area that is even kidney bean shaped, as is often reported of the G-spot. I find it fascinating that the upper palate seems so close in structure to the vagina and G-spot area.

The upper palate area is filled with nerve endings. Try putting your little vibrator up there sometime and see how it feels! Obviously suckling and eating creates the evolutionary nerve aspects of the sensitivity of the mouth. The erotic feeling of sucking, whether it be some aspect of the anatomy like a nipple, penis or thumb, was developed during infancy to not only create a sensory experience while eating but to provide intimacy training for mother (or primary care giver) and child. The ‘bonding’ chemical oxytocin is produced during nursing and the accompanying eye gazing that occurs between mother and child trains the baby to seek the intimacy of faces, and specifically the eyes, as it grows older. Interestingly, oxytocin is also produced during orgasm.

The upper palate is also the area you place your tongue during advanced breath, energy and meditation work. The tip of the tongue points straight to the fontanel at the top of the head (the ‘soft’ spot) and opens up the nadis or energy channels. During Tantric sex certain positions have the ability to facilitate the movement of energy upwards, too. Positions that apply pressure from the head of the penis onto the G-spot area are particularly affective. Again, there seems to be the potential of a G-spot in the vagina and one in the mouth too.

I discovered this quite a few years back and have never heard anyone else refer to it before. I love oral sex and had wondered why that might be so. Yes, I love to eat, so that is a part of it, but I have noticed that during oral sex it's the slow out-stroke that always gets me. It's the same with intercourse. The long, slow out-stroke is the one that triggers orgasm for me. So what is it about these two very similar areas of the body? Why are they so similar in construction and what might that mean for our pleasure and our ability to build and expand erotic energy? I would love to have feedback from anyone who has experienced orgasm through mouth contact or who recognizes the connection of both G-spot orgasms and erotic stimuli in the mouth too.

Easy Calm Breathing

I’ve been practicing internal circular breathing. I’m calling it this because it feels right but this practice has many names. It came up as a spontaneous practice in the middle of the night a while back. And what I’ve learned is that there really isn’t any right way to do simple breathing practices (more advanced ones are a different story) if you are putting your mind to it, so to speak.

Let me explain. What I am practicing is this: I take a soft, deep breath in as my mind ‘follows’ the breath up my body, just to the inside of my spine from my belly. The breath, mind and eyes follow the movement to the inside back of my skull, circle down the front of the inside of my skull, and as I start to exhale it moves down and out my nose to bathe the front of my body. The cycle starts over, softly and smoothly, as my mind comes back to my belly for the in breath.

This is so relaxing and yet mildly energizing too - no, more like refreshing, I would say. My eyes actually follow the breath and so does my mind. It’s that part – the mind part - that is important. I feel like I am training my mind to focus. It’s a form of meditation that is simple and easy to do. People who meditate have a thicker cortex, that part of your brain that is the higher consciousness and intelligent part. It’s also the part of the brain that ‘over-sees’ the emotional part (the lower, older brain) bringing a calmer, more controlled affect to the personality.

I can always use more of this kind of calm!

Witnessing Spring

I’m reminded of Witness Consciousness today. Spring is busting out all over the place and this makes it relatively easy to be hyper conscious of the beauty and life that is all around us. Forget stress, the economy and my messy house – it’s bursting out there!
It takes many varying practices to become more conscious. Right now I’m paying attention to nature in all of its glory. Last night I was paying attention to breath, sensual sensations and my G-spot. Later today I will even pay good attention to finishing my taxes. It’s all the same. Really.
How does one promote Witness Consciousness? There are many, many ways but I like to use the breath as a starting point. Watching my breath and breathing into my belly – softly, fully – is the practice I like. Years ago I started this practice and would remember it maybe 20 times a day. I would pay attention to how I was breathing. This got me used to remembering multiple times a day to pay attention.
That started my practice of witnessing myself. Then I moved this practice more deliberately to sex. After years of practicing and learning all about my body, my lover’s body and all the myriad ways we could pleasure each other I could finally let go of the ‘thinking’ about those moves and begin to ‘witness’ my self during sexual encounters. This isn’t about judgment or critical thinking or even imagination or fantasy – it’s about the gentle practice of witnessing. To witness one simply watches with ease and wonder what is happening to them.
When we get good at this it becomes really useful. So we’re having some great sex and I notice “ Oh, that is an interesting sensation. I’m going to breathe into that touch and see what happens.” It’s just like that, simple and useful. The ‘witness’ helps us to add on to the experience. When you get really good at this you can really explore and up-the-ante on your experiences, what ever they are. It’s a playful practice that becomes an increasingly interesting sort of arousal stimulator. And I’m using it today because of the beauty all around me – nature is arousing me and I’m using this experience to make it even more exquisite so I can enjoy the taxes and enjoy the garden and enjoy the sex and enjoy the life!