I recall my grandboys (3 and 7 years old) this last week playing wildly in the bathtub while they were staying with me. I remembered this morning, while in the shower, because my shaving cream I use for my legs was gone! Then I recalled cleaning the tub after they were out. It was a mess but what a great time they had had. There was soap squished in the drain, shave cream everywhere, foam stuck to the walls, rubber ducks and plastic frogs enmeshed in creative stances while covered in MY SHAVE CREAM.
What I thought of this morning, however, was "What has happened to me, as an adult, around play - no PLAYING?" Where does it go when we 'grow up'? And why should we succumb to societal pressures to avoid playing?
I believe that the element of playfulness is what is sometimes missing from relationships of the sexual love kind. We forget to play, to take ourselves and our lovers more casually and less personally. And this has everything to do with keeping novelty in a long term relationship.
To get to the profound nature of sexual love one must play to discover the millions of things to explore and grow by. Transformation does not happen when we don't move towards an edge we have or try something that we haven't before. Gently moving towards something that makes our heart flutter or our gut jump gives us the ability to say truly whether or not it is for us. How else are we to know? And if it is one partner who is always doing the suggesting and the other who is saying no, reverse the direction. As a couple, find ways to empower the person who is typically the 'no' person. This can be difficult sometimes but, again, it is about growth.
Sexual games can be empowering as can taking up a new practice like Tantric sexuality. Consider stretching your boundaries a little. Do it slowly and with purposeful play and I know that you will experience personal growth, a more connected relationship and laughter that brings with it a warm glow! Use some of that shaving cream up for some silly purpose!